they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
even my farts smell like vagina
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
