laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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