He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
