worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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