Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
