bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
