Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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