my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
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the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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