I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
not ubering you a puppy
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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