How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring money and cleavage
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The air was thick with penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize