we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
