...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
