Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.

(612): View more from Minnesota

I wish i was spraying into your jaw.

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(251): View more from Alabama

i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.

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(805): View more from California

My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes

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(563): View more from Iowa

i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...

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(207): View more from Maine

when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance

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(208): View more from Idaho

You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.

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(530): View more from California

Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.

(818): View more from California

As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.

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(302): View more from Delaware

That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure

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