I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish I only lived at night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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