yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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