the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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