i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
