My hair reeks of homosexuality.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
