There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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