I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
