I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
