At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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