I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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