there was a trapeze. enough said
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
