But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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