About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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