first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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