you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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