He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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