She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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