Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
