How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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