Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
