My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
