fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My ass is underappreciated
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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