dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
