In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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