you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
