So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
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Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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