Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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