she woke up with a sticky ear
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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