He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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