Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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