If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
