I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize