i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
