i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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