coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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