Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
