Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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