I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
