Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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