why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
