god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
