it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
