Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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