uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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