i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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