That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
