so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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