shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You were trust falling into bushes
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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