oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
