just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Randomize
