I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
